Social Anxiety Blogs

Hello, I recently read a blog by someone suffering from SA and it got me thinking about some of the feelings I have.

I was recently on a student forum and came across a thread by a guy who has been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. I think a key point about the disorder I picked up on is the following:

"Generalized social anxiety disorder typically involves a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being judged by others and of potentially being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions"

Until I read this statement I didnt actually realise that this is the reason (I think) I have been so nervous in certain situations for as long as I can remember. I personally thought I was just being shy or whatever but this has really opened my eyes.

An example of a situation which might affect me would be walking round a supermarket, I'd turn down an aisle and be walking down but have to turn around and go down another because I'd seen someone - just any random person - who I would perhaps think might be seeing me as an idiot or thinking bad things about me for the way I walk/talk/act or whatever. It really is random, it can be a male/female, old/young. Sometimes it's if there is a group of people I tend to hurry past, thinking they are about to shout abuse at me. Other times it may be crowded and I think, I wont be able to get past without some physical contact, even if it's just nudging slightly against a trolly or something.

Then there's the fact that I worry what people are thinking about what Im looking at in a shop - do they think i'm a geek/cheapskate/snob? Again, it's totally random as to when I feel these feelings. When I decide to buy something, I only do so if there is no queue because I fear someone will look down on me for the way Im standing or even the way Im holding what Im about to buy. I worry about how closely Im standing next to people etc. Then when I get to the checkout I worry that, say if im buying chocolate, they assistant will think I'm either a greedy cow or bulemic as i dont particularly look like I would eat a lot of chocolate to be honest. (at this moment I am worrying that that last statement made me look like I was being smug for being slim - Im not). I even worry what people think of me when I walk out of the shop - will they think Im a loser for being in a certain shop etc.

Another aspect that bothers me is eye contact. I find it a horrible thing trying to maintain eye contact without looking away worriedly. It's killing me because if there is a guy I think is hot who makes eye-contact, I tend to give off the wrong signals by looking away too quickly and then having a worried look over my face when I realise what I've done. It's all totally ridiculous like, and then i go over the situation looking at it as what it could have been, going round in circles, thinking what I would do if it came up again...

Finally (and sorry to have gone on a bit, but it's a bit of self-discovery really) when I was at school (thankfully I've left now...) if I ever had to go and speak to a teacher during class time, in a class room with even just a few pupils, I'd worry that when I went in they'd be whispering insults, or that i wouldnt be able to get the door open properly or a million other things that could go wrong.

So, you can see why the word "potential" applies so much - people like me with SAD (well, after reading many life-stories from people who have SAD I have pretty much convinced myself that I am a sufferer) worry about things that could happen but most likely wont. The most annoying thing about it being that it's totally random and sounds to people like you are just a shy person when really it's more than that.

My question is, how do you go about getting a diagnosis of SA? Or is it something a lot of people self-diagnose themselves with? I have looked up a lot of information on SA and a lot of it seems to fit how I feel but I then think, well, is it just me trying to fit into a box?

Thanks for reading, any comments would be welcome, especially from people who have been diagnosed...

Danielle xxxxx