Social Anxiety Blogs

Well...i did it again.
Things begin to go better,and im not Superman,but im holdin my own and no major anxiety,then Boom!!! Ive noticed that after having this for so long,that i have used anger to replace fear.Maybe thats why i would have made a good soldier...one of them that keep comin back after thier 1st tour.
Anyway,it was about 2 weeks ago,i tried life on lifes terms,and i couldnt seem to cope with the result at the end of the day...Dealt with everything that normally brings on all the signs of an SA attack,but at the end of the day,behind closed doors,i cant seem to sit in my own skin...So i reached for the weed...So many ppl ive met on here,they have really touched me.I feel like they have been those people you meet when yer 3000 miles away from home,and in a rut,and theyre those people you meet,who have no ulterior motives,who want to help,and help you reason your current roadblocks,and be a friend...I would read on here,begin to post,and then stop.read again,think of my reply...stop.Then just read,,and think that i will just reply when im not hi tomorrow,and can think...or...i said i was sober....damn,now everyone will be let down...
Well,im still here....and im still thinkin...and maybe people like me are important on this globe...maybe ill never be truely SA free,or Super happy...or maybe im expectin to wake up one day,and feel like i belong,like everyone else,who just seems to hop into thier day,and roll rite thru it...and the nightmares over,,,Bad dream,wake up...its over now...
I dunno man...i really dont...but to everyone on here,thanks....and if i get kicked again....well,i dunno...i might make up a new name,and just join again....so there....