Yep, it's that time of the month again. And, as usual, I'm battling the inevitable depression and moodiness that goes along with all that. I thought that, just for one month, one month that I could avoid all that, be okay and not be 'taken' by this... I guess it's just not in the cards this time around.

The past few weeks, on and off, I've been feeling physically icky but okay otherwise. But, today, it kind of hit me out of left field. The feelings that I'm 'alone' and 'worthless' are with me but I'm trying to keep all things in perspective... that this isn't really the case, that my mind is playing tricks on me and what's real isn't what I'm perceiving.

While today is Valentine's Day, I barely recognized it as that. Anymore, I really don't care about 'holidays' because it's just another day to me.

As always, this depression takes me by surprise. I don't know why that is since it happens every single month. Maybe I'm hoping that one day, it just won't happen anymore.

I'm trying to stay away from painful memories but dangnabit, it always seems like the bad memories come up when I'm feeling like this. I made the mistake of reading a thread about the show 'Intervention' on SAS.... wrong thing for me to do. Brought back horrible memories of when I was living with the psychopath and with my ex. Not worth getting upset over so I'm trying to steer my mind to more pleasant things.

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On the lighter side (or maybe not...), George the cat came back today from the vet's office, minus his 'equipment'. A few days ago, George and a stray (I really don't think he's a stray because he looks to be in good condition) got into it big time, enough so that there was blood all over the back porch and poor George was a bloody mess. We kept him in the garage for a few days, both to let him heal and to keep him out of harm's way (Spencer the so called stray). I suggested that maybe getting George fixed would take away the urge to fight and his habit of spraying everything in sight (when it's too cold for the cats to be outside, they're kept in my room in the basement and it tends to stink badly when he's in there).

I guess I'll be sharing my room with him tonight and I'm okay with that since I do like George. He's a sweet cat but he's a character to be sure. He's very insistent about food.

I noticed that as soon as he was out of the carrier, he headed straight for the food. Joe's Mom put out a can of food for him and he ate that, ate all the other cats' food and went downstairs to the plate of food that's there for whoever wants it too. George is a pig.

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