Social Anxiety Blogs

Gotta love it... I put off getting my insurance changed over (really, I didn't know that I had to until a few days ago) to KY standards and I can't do it on line so I have to do it in person so I can change my place of residence. Well, it just occurred to me that I actually had to get it in KY and not the closest office nearest me (in Portsmouth, just across the river...). So, thankfully, I found a Progressive office in (I think) the next town over from South Portsmouth (South Shore).

I could smack myself for letting all this go. It's helped me stay in a depressive state since Thursday, when the episode of Lost got me in the dumps for reasons I really don't want to mention right now.

I swear, depression is one of the most dangerous things in the world. It can make someone who's generally optimistic feel like doing unmentionable things to themselves. In spite of being in, probably the most supportive environment that I've been in in the last few years, it's still possible for me to get so freakin' depressed that I wish I had a garage to do 'you know what' in O_o

So far, Joe and his family have been great to me in all respects. I think his Mom and Dad actually like having me around. Never once have either of them made me feel unwelcome in any way, always including me in whatever's going on. I think the thing that is both a blessing and a curse (in a way), is that when I'm in my room, no one bothers me (except Joe, one time when he was worried about me...).

That said, I could, when depressed, stay in there for days at a time (minus potty and smoke breaks). One time, when I was severely depressed, I stayed in my room, alternately sleeping and watching mindless movies for 2 days. I would get up in the middle of the night so I wouldn't bump into/bother anyone. I see this as a double edged sword and one that I'll have to learn to deal with... when I'm deeply depressed, I need someone to show interest in me but let's face it... I'm a grown woman and unless I'm in my room for days on end, no one's going to bother looking in on me.

And besides, I know that when people that I know are depressed, room is one thing that I tend to give. Thankfully, I realize that Joe still cares about me just as much as he always has, in spite of my silly depressed way of looking at things. There for a while, I really wasn't sure about that but that's just the depression talking.