Social Anxiety Blogs

Yeah, it's been a while... again. Partially just because I haven't really had anything to write or even felt like writing.

In my never ending struggle with depression (which seems to far outweigh my struggle with anxiety... for the most part...), I've 'fallen' more than a few times in the past few weeks. I'll be okay for a few weeks and then, the bottom falls out and I'm avoiding everyone, even my cherished best friend.

This past week was pretty bad. The g/f that wants to take over my house (now that I'm not living there anymore...) called me at Joe's house Sunday. First off, I hate phones and she knows this. I know I've been hard to reach and there's a reason for that... I don't want to talk to anyone unless I have to.

Second, I was horrified that she found their home phone number. I know that I shouldn't feel that way but I do. I feel fairly exposed now and I don't like that feeling at all. I know that she was just calling to see if I was okay and I can appreciate that but at the same time, I almost feel like, if I hang onto her and Ron, that I'll be hanging onto my past. Part of me just wants to be shed of both of them.

Well, on top of that, she told me that since the idiot and I aren't formally divorced yet that the house is still community property and in order for them to take it over for taxes, he has to sign the paper. I told her 'good luck with that' as I don't feel that he'll sign it.

All this just dredged up way too many memories for me to handle and that plunged me into depression.

But, on the up side, I managed to pull myself out of it (depression) sooner than I thought I would. In fact, I've been doing fairly well the last few days. Joe's Mom hasn't been feeling good so I sort of volunteered Joe and I to make dinner last night (and tonight and probably tomorrow night too....). It was just hamburgers and french fries. But, after dinner, Joe's Dad came over to me and thanked me for making dinner and called me 'daughter' O_o That was a huge ego boost for me. Joe's parents have been incredibly accepting of me and treat me like a member of the family anyway so this just made me feel all the better about my decision to stay here.