Social Anxiety Blogs

Lately all I want to do is sleep. Not something I can really do since I have two young sons. I've been trying to avoid life. I don't want to be around anyone. I try to be a good mom, but this thing that's got a hold on me is interfering a little.

I don't know myself anymore. Actually, I'm not sure that I ever had. I feel like an empty person. I'm a wife and a mom, but that's it. There's nothing to me. I've always been a very emotional person, but lately I've become numb and don't care as much. Maybe even a little insensitive at times. I feel myself pushing away from my husband. Sometimes I cant stand it when he touches me. I don't know what's wrong with me. There is so much pressure and resentment building up in me. I used to be just sad all the time. I became a mom and a wife and most of that went away. I tried hard to hide my social anxiety, even though I have it severely. Things were going okay for a while, but now I'm lost again. Is it my fault thinking I could just hide and pretend like it's not there?

My occasional glass of wine is starting to become an everyday thing. Which hardly makes me an alcoholic, but it bothers me that that's the only way I know how to calm myself down. I'm fighting with myself to be a good person. A sane person. I'm really struggling to keep myself together. I'm scared that after spending most of my life wound so tight that some day soon I'm going to completely lose control.