Social Anxiety Blogs

I'm 17 years old, and this isn't where I want to be. I can't remember a time in my life where I was comfortable talking to the people around me. I managed to make one good friend but I always feel like I'm stupid or uninteresting or the most boring person ever when we're hanging out together. I'm not really weird or look weird or anything, I think I look pretty normal, I just never speak. I have no friends in a school that I've been at for over a year now. For a little while I thought I had a friend but we stopped talking because he couldn't stand the fact that I was so shy and didn't talk to any of his friends. Recently he tried talking to me again, but I didn't really have anything to say because it had been so long. I'm so lonely, and sad and often feeling angry because of this. I can hardly even communicate with my teachers. I feel like the entire school thinks I'm crazy because I just walk from class to class and spend my lunches in class when no one else is around. And I sit in the bathrooms alone until someone else walks in and then I leave immediately. Even if I'm about to walk into the bathroom and I hear voices I turn the other way. It's ridiculous and completely debilitating. I want to escape from my constant social anxiety but it just wont go away. I have a job right now, and every day before work I'm anxious about being around my coworkers and knowing they expect me to speak. Everyone expects you to speak. But sometimes I feel like I don't even speak English... I'm really scared that I wont be able to live a good life because of this, because I know it's not just being a teenager. It's something deeper and it's horrifying. I dream of happiness with a family, a husband, a nice job but how can I achieve this when I'm to afraid to speak to anyone?

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