Social Anxiety Blogs

I don't know where to start, or what to include and what
to leave out. Don't let me leave the wrong impression for
any of you who might be reading. I'm afraid to ever let my
mind anywhere near there for it is even more vulnerable to
their offenses than before. Don't think yours wouldn't be
either.

I'm not ready to talk about almost any of it my stomach
turns before my mind can even goe there.

This wasn't the beginning by any means but it's the only
place I can start.

It was halloween and we were at dance practice for the
last class of the quarter. Everything was fun we were
having a great time when they came for me. Or I came for
me. It was as if I was being ripped at and pulled in every
direction. I still can't find the words to describe it. It
was like my soul was on fire and something was tearing me
apart. I grew somber and told JB (my fiancee) I couldn't
do it anymore I couldn't take it and it would never go away that I was scared and tired.

WE had skirted around the issue before but we knew what
had to be done. We bowed out of class early, gave our hugs
and goodbyes and after we went home and changed out of our
costumes (he was a nunn and it was just after the
illusionist hads come out so I was dressed from that time
period) we drove to the hospital. I don't remember much
about the next part except he wouldn't leave me and I
listened to a couple of my cds on and off for a few hours.
My mind jumps to my mom and jb saying goodbye and how much they loved me and his sad eyes pleaing as if to say "don't forget". "don't stop fighting, don't forget" and " I love you".

My heart grows ill as my body cold just to think of it. I
wanted them (the hopsital) to fix me and I was restless
and impatient, tired of fighting and tired of waiting. I
realized they had me there for pills, to be diagnosed,
watched and released. My heart deflated and I knew I was
lost to this.

That's when I met him.