Social Anxiety Blogs

I am a 20 year old female who has realised I have had social anxiety for as far back as I can remember. Social anxiety has ruined relationships with my friends, family, boyfriends & co-workers. I also would consider myself a perfectionist. I am not the kind of person who let my feelings be known because I dont think other people would care. It's like I am not even myself, in fact, I dont even think I know what it is like to be "myself". I am constantly worried about that other people think of me and I have very low-self esteem. I was raised in a southern baptist home and was saved when I was 5 years old. My parents are not open people, we do not talk about alot of things. I feel like I am completly different from my family. I am the "odd" one. I have gone through a mild anorexia and have done drugs and drank to feel better and I am a smoker. You would think someone coming from my background would not have these problems. I have tried everything to help myself to get better. Now, once I got the guts, to tell my doctor about the way I feel he perscribed me xanax which helps me alot when the anxiety gets really bad. Xanax is somehting I can not take everyday though, so he recently perscribed me Lexapro. The side effects on an anti-deppressent are horrible, but I believe it will be well worth it. I only experienced bad side effects for 3 days and I am only on day 9, but I am already starting to feel my anxiety slowly slipping away. The doc. said I should not see the full side effects until 4 weeks. I cant wait to see how well this heps me. I do realise I have to change myself too. In order to have the full effects I need to face my fear and eat right and try to get the exercise I need, but that is hard when I work ful time and go to school.
Worring about everything I say to people, what I did 3 years ago, and petty stuff should not control my life and I will no longer let it! Its time to let go of my fears and go out and not worry about what I say or do.

Let me know if you have done anything to get better or just need someone to talk to. Support is the best thing we can give eachother to get better.

Stephanie