Social Anxiety Blogs

So I have been writing in another blog but I have not had anyone write me and I just need people to talk to about SA and stuff. So I am going to post my old messages on here just to keep all my thoughts in one place and then use this as my blog.

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Hi. I guess I am a little unsure of how to start this blog but I have heard that writing down what you feel is a good way to cope with social anxiety...so here I am. I was diagnosed with SAD about 8 months ago and have been on medication since then. It's been a trying time for me to adjust to the medication and changing the way I see the world.

I firmly believe that I have suffered from SAD my entire life but, being a teenager, my parents just took my behavior as shyness and my fear to just be a "phase". I have talked to my mother about how I felt back then and I know she feels bad for not realizing what was happening to me but I don't blame her or my father. Parents don't want to think that there is something wrong with their children and they love me with all of their hearts. Yes, I do wish I knew what was happening with me sooner, but that is in the past and now I just want to make my life better.

I guess my anxiety is mostly in social situations and is really tiggered by death or injury. About 3 years ago I had many people die that were close to me all within a year. I think that was when depression really started setting in on me. I decided to go to talk therapy which was nice but really didn't do a lot for me. I kept telling my parents that something was not right and the intensity of my feelings seemed excessive but I could not control it. It started to get worse from there and finally, last summer, it all came to a head. I started feeling very disoriented and not in control of my body. I was scared to drive because I felt like I would hurt myself. I would space out a lot and my brain just felt very fuzzy. I finally convinced my mom let me go see a doctor and then we finally realized what was going on.

I think the biggest challenge for me right now is feeling dependent on my medication. I am a very independent person and I like to believe that I can rely on myself to get through things. To now know that I need help and to be reliant on this medication to alter how my brain functions is really hard for me to accept. I don't want to be known as the girl who has emotional problems. I don't like to be the girl that can't control how she feels.

So right now I am dealing with it. I'm trying to come to terms with my life.

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