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LOST CHILDHOOD?

8 July 2009 - 2:47am — jmelvin587

My boyfriend's mom recently passed away from lung cancer about 2 weeks ago. We were talking about how our moms passed within a year of each other. Anyway, I was talking about how much I've had to grow up and how isolated I feel. He said, "Well, you were held back in your childhood, since you never had the teenage social experience." And the truth is, I never did. I was always the nerd or the shy girl or I didn't fit in. But, I avoided the "scene" because I didn't want to do anything stupid or harmful to my body, like drugs or sex. Does this make me "abnormal"? Shouldn't that be something to be proud of, that I have tried to abstain and make smart choices for myself?
True, I never did get to invite anyone over growing up, but that was only because we had a messy house. I lots of friends when I was younger. Then, in middle school, everything changed for me, and I no longer fitted in. I was a nerd. I didn't understand the hormones raging around me, and I didn't want to be a part of it. In high school, I looked like a popular person with nice clothes and makeup, but I was extremely shy (that's when my SAD and depression developed). So, I didn't make any real friends (other than acquaintances or people I sat with at lunch). I was, and still am, very self-concious. Does this mean that I haven't really grown up because I missed out on the teen/tween social scene growing up?

Comments

8 November 2009 - 3:00am — DomChi

Keep Your Head Up

I just want to encourage you because I can really relate with a lot of the experiences that you have shared. In high school I also chose to abstain from alcohol and drugs because I knew how self-destructive those substances could be. However, this decision to not follow the crowd often left me feeling alone and isolated. I think that you should be proud of your personal choices and embrace the beautiful person that you appear to be. Some of the people who you mat have perceived as being more socially at ease or mature than you were probably actually struggling with their own issues. The fact that you are self-aware, reflective, and courageous enough to face your fears and examine your own anxieties reflects a tremendous amount of maturity on your part. Sure, you have certain areas of anxiety that you would like to improve upon so that you can experience more happiness in your life, but as you work towards controlling some of those anxieties just remember that you are not so abnormal and you have grow up in many ways. Like I said, I can really relate with a lot of those feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and anxiety, so I just want to encourage you that your struggle is not so abnormal. Thank you for sharing your own thoughts in this forum. By being courageous enough to honestly express your true feelings to others you help heal yourself and you connect with other people who can relate with certain struggles you are facing. Just keep your head up, continue working on facing your anxiety, and give yourself credit for the unique talents that you have to offer the world.
God bless. Peace.