Social Anxiety Blogs

Hi everyone, its me again...
Whether you agree with me or not, these are some things that have truly helped me/changed my way of thinking, I'm not saying it's right for everyone, but has been right for me.

The first part is from this cool, yet strange, book called 'Conversations with God.' by Neale Donald Walsch. For all you devoted christians out there i recomend you do not read it for a lot of it may seem very sacralidge. But anway...

It talks about this concept that says to create anything in your life you must follow the Be-Do-Have principle. This is the total opposite to what most people usually try. They do it Have-do-be. For example, most people wish they could 'have' more money, so that they could 'do' more things they really love to do, or travel etc. so that they can then 'be' truly happy.
I used to think this way about social anxiety, I used to think that if I 'had' total confidence or total freedom from social anxiety, that then I could 'do' the things I wanted to like totally be myself, be loud and outspoken, talk to others and make friends, then i could 'be' truly and utterly and finally happy. So I was very unhappy for a long time. Or I would think that if I 'had' everyone's approval then I could 'do' tihngs like feel good about myself/be myself then I would 'be' happy.
But in actuality, like many zen masters or ancient teachers have preached, happiness can only come from within. Only you create your own happiness, ever whether you know it or not, so therefore if you think your happiness is dependent on something outside of you then, you think its needed for your happiness, which keeps you from ever being happy because you believe you cannot be happy until you reach that goal. But I've learned that by first 'being' happy, choosing to be, with youself, with life etc. exactly as it is now, not needing anything or anyone to make you happy, then you automatically act joyously from this state of mind which creates new actions, actions of self-love and confidence because you're happy with youself just as you are, which causes you to 'have' all those outer things like friends, confidence, inner peace, and etc. So i think the trick is to be happy first, then it brings all those things about. Be happy regardless, love yourself no matter how shy you are, and its like when you really just love youself as you are now, you find that you care less about not being shy, and when you care less about not being shy then that pretty much eliminates most of your anxiety, becuase the only time I felt anxious was when I felt and thought like"omg I really do not want to be shy right now, or omg i hope im not being too quiet what will others think?' but when I really dont give a damn, that im happy either way, then I feel free and calm and detached. Then I find that I act totally confident, loud and myself naturally and automatically.
I hope this makes any sense to guys. I'm not trying to sound preachy or anything, its jsut something that has really changed my perspective, state of mind, and my life.
Here are some more awesome quotes from that book:
"So long as you're worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. When you require no one's approval, then you own yourself."
"He who requires nothing to be happy, and is happy to begin with, finds he has everything he needs to be happy."
"Your state of mind reproduces itself as your external reality."
"The definition of fear: thinking that you will not be able to get something you think you need." (think you need other's approval etc.)
"All fear is based on a false belief that you think you need something in order for you to be happy."