Social Anxiety Blogs

I am 19 years old and i have had this anxity problem since i was 11 years old right after my grandpa died. I was put on all sorts of medications.....depression medication. during this time i didnt leave my house for almost 3 months. i never found a medication that really helped it only made some matters worse. after a couple years i got the depression pills and got put on adderall a medication for ADHD because i was falling behind in school. For a long time i was doing okay with only having anxity attacks around once a week. Now for the past year my anxity has caused disruptions in my life again. I dont know what to do. i qiut my job because i couldnt handle it anymore i still havent finished high school due to me missing too much school cause of personal problems and i dont have the motivation to even get up and go to summer school to finish up and get my diploma. I am an outgoing girl and i can talk for hours and im loud so most people find it hard to beleive that i have anxity. i dont know how to deal with this now that im older when i was younger my mom took care of everything. im scared to go back on meds because they last time nothing ever worked. I want to be able to go out like 19 year old girls do and i want to be able to go anywhere without this stomach dropping sweaty hands upset stomach fast heart beat wanting to die feeling. I love to travel out of the country i have already three times and i dont want my anxity to block this passion out of my life to. Another problem is i dont have health insurance to get good help like i use to. I can affored meds but im not sure if thats the way i want to go. I dont know what to do. If anyone has the same kind of problem i do please help!