Social Anxiety Blogs

I am 47 years old, and most of my life has been really crappy. I was physically, verbally, and mentally abused by my father. My mother, however, was the ONLY one growing up who I had a good relationship with. She was awesome, and was my best friend.
I have always been quiet, and am proud of it. My attitude is that I would be a quiet person, than other people in this world who talk too much, don't know when to shut up, and for the most part, have nothing meaningful to say. Growing up, I was picked on at home, at school, and my neighborhood. Now, things were this way all the way up to high school, when things got worse, if thats possible. MORE LATER......

If anything could describe a "living hell" for me, it would be high school. To say I hated it, would be a tremendous understatement. The best way to describe it would be to imagine walking into the building on the first day, and people on both sides of the entrance are holding signs that are to be worn around the neck, saying "Accepted" or "Not Accepted". Well, guess which one I wore? To THIS DAY, I don't understand why I was singled out for being "Not Accepted". I grew up just wanting to have as normal a life as I could, not bothering anyone, and just wanting to do the best that I could. But, it just wasn't meant to happen. I was a tall, skinny kid, and not bad looking, in my opinion. What was it about me that made people act like such assholes to me? Who knows? Who cares? Fuck them!
Well, while I was getting the hell beat out of me at home, at school, other kids were laughing at me, picking on me, the teachers were always calling on me because I was quiet, and wouldn't raise my hand. So, I was getting nothing at home, nothing at school, and nothing in my neighborhood. I was trying to make friends, but people treated me like I was a fucking leper. One kid kept messing with me day after day, and I didn't want to get in a fight, but my anger was slowly building, and one day, I exploded. As the class was walking out to lunch, this turd came out from behind the door to startle me. I lost it, and started throwing punches. I kicked his ass, was sent to the principal's office with this idiot, and he did admit that he had been riding me.
The teachers were a joke. I never talked, and the more they tried to get me to, the more they failed. As the world closed in on me, I put up my walls, and didn't even do my schoolwork. The few girls that I did have the courage to ask out just laughed at me. I played basketball for 2 years, went out for football, and on the first day, tore up my knee. That ended football for me. I would have played baseball, since I had played little league for a few years, and that was my favorite sport. However, the baseball coach was a yeller, and damn if I was going to play for a psycho like that. There was already a psycho at home abusing me.
Well, I just barely passed high school, and TO THIS DAY, I still have nightmares about it. NEXT TIME, I will go into college, and various other events in my life as I grew up.