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I was thinking about what to start off with, and decided to talk about sex. Unlike most people in this country(or world for that matter), I didn't have sex with a girl until I was 21, AND I AM VERY PROUD OF THAT! All of these assholes, especially in high school, bragged about their so called "conquests with women", when they were probably sitting at home choking their chicken. Because I was raised by the best mother in the world, I was given good morals. I always promised myself that I wouldn't have intercourse with a woman until I fell in love. And, I fulfilled that promise. (By the way, unlike most of the people in this world and country, I have never even smoked a joint, or done drugs, and I AM VERY PROUD OF THAT, too.
I didn't even know this girl existed. Other people told me that she was always checking me out, and wanted to meet me. But once again, when we broke up, I vowed never to get involved with someone because I didn't want the drama in a relationship. So, for a long period of time(of which I will go into further another time)I didn't get involved with a woman, and it was nice. UNTIL NEXT TIME......
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I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder when I was 12. That's very young and yes even though I have got a lot better since then I still have crippling fear when I go out in public and I hate talking to new people. Nobody ever understands me and it's horrible. I struggled when I started college and on the first day I explained to everybody how I felt about being surrounded and people talking to me but they just bombarded me with questions and crowded round me because I was the only person in the class who had it. I also don't like it when people shout because it makes me afraid and people were shouting these questions at me so they could be heard and they were surrounding me and I ended up screaming and crying for them to get away from me. People then just thought I was a freak but that's because they don't understand. Now that I have been at college for a year and I am a bit more comfortable with people that I know around me I was talking to them about it and they think that I've just made it up to be different because they ask me well how do you walk to college everyday? I just ende up telling them I don't. Which is true. I live 3 minutes away from that place and yet I still have to get my mum to give me a lift in the morning which she hates but I think she's beginning to understand how serious it can be. I am also thantophobic which makes my life worse. It sucks. I'm so glad I can actually talk to people who understand because shrinks suck. They don't get it.