Social Anxiety Blogs

I have never been a violent person. Yes, I do have a lot of anger in me, because of the way that I have been treated in life. And, its not going to just go off like a light switch. I always just wanted to be a regular kid growing up and just having a regular life. But, for some reason, life has just always dealt me a shitty hand. I was physically and verbally abused growing up, at home and at school, went to high school and was picked on, laughed at, and basically shitted on for 4 years. Those years were the worst of my life. A fucking nightmare. Still to this day, if anyone from the high school ever called about a reunion, I would tell them to go fuck themselves. I always tried to make friends growing up. I reached out as much as I could being shy. The friends that I had I was good to. I was always there for them, listening to their problems. I never received anything in return. I got through college, never knowing what I wanted to do with my life, and I am 47 years old, and still don't have a fucking clue. My job history is terrible. I tried things that just didn't suit my temperament. I have never found something that I have a passion for. But, I look at it this way. No matter how fucked up my life has been, just the fact that I get up every morning is an accomplishment. Just going out the door is a plus. I TRUST NOONE because noone has ever given me a reason to trust them. People always talk about scars. They also say, "Look, thats all in the past, just move on". Yeah, right. It ain't that easy. Some physical scars run deep and never heal. Well, I got news for you. Emotional scars run deep too, and they don't heal.