Social Anxiety Blogs

There are a lot of things in this world that piss me off, and practically all center around other people. I think people are basically stupid and that they talk too much. These things stem from the way that I was treated early on in life, in the home, and outside. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but this was a VERY FUCKED UP family. A paternal person(I refuse to use the F word because he was never that), physically and verball abused me. My mother, who I was very close to, and myself were the only sane ones. My sister was just like the paternal in the fact that they are both selfish, greedy assholes. Growing up, people for some reason, felt the need to trash me every chance they could. I just wanted to fit into society, but noone would let me. So, my level of trust eroded day by day, until it is nil. Why did all of this shit have to happen? I never bothered anybody. I was a good kid, and I think that I am a great guy. Now, people will say, man you have a lot of anger inside of you. I admit that I do, but I didn't do this to myself, other people made me this way. People always talk about physical scars that they have from burns, cuts, etc., things which never completely heal. Well, I have VERY DEEP emotional scars which haven't healed, and probably won't.
Now, I have gone to therapy off and on, for years, but have never thought that it has done a damn bit of good. I have taken different meds, including Luvox, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Ambien, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, and Lexapro, of the last 3 I have been taking for awhile, and I don't see any difference in my life.
One thing that I know about myself is that I am different, and I don't think its so bad. I have always enjoyed going against the norm.
In closing, I am not a bad person. I am just a very angry individual because I have unjustly been shit on by other people. Myself, just an innocent individual who just has just always wanted to live life......