Social Anxiety Blogs

The past few days, I've been feeling extraordinarily crappy, of course, hormonally induced. I just got up from a.... 7 hour nap to find that I started my cycle. I was kind of hoping that I would skip it this month but... oh well, life goes on.

My best friend is up here, helping me and he's been a true sport about me feeling icky and listless the past few days. The other day, I slept close to 12 hours straight due to said ickiness.

We went out tonight to do a quick food shopping before 'House' came on (yes, I actually watched TV tonight!!!). I'm really bad about making menus and planning meals so shopping for me is a hit or miss type thing. I bought 4 pounds of ground meat, thinking that in addition to the ground turkey in the freezer, that would be enough meat for us until he leaves (I really don't eat all that much meat) and I stocked up on lunch meat and cheese (pretty much a staple here as it's a quick meal, since I'm eXtremely lazy about cooking most times). And considering that I'm mensing now.... cooking isn't going to be my favorite thing in the next few days.

We had wanted to go to Walmart but considering that I was already tired and it was going on 8:30 pm when we finished shopping, we headed home. I told him that we could go to Walmart tomorrow since I changed my mind about the sweater... now I want a cardigan so I'm going to need more yarn.

I do have a lot of a wool blend that's about the same weight but the washing instructions are different (the wool blend instructions call for it to be dried flat while the acrylic yarn is machine dryable). I made a hat from the same brand (wool blend) so I'm going to machine wash and dry that tonight to see if it gets ruined (it's just a hat.... no biggie). If it gets ruined, it's no huge loss.... at least I'll know for sure how it'll react under certain conditions so the risk is worth it.

It's really kind of funny.... earlier today, it was a moderate 72 degrees in my house and I was sweating.... literally sweating and J was actually feeling chilled.... now, I'm freezing my rear off and it's only 2 degrees cooler now (considering that there's 12 hours difference in when I was hot flashing and now...). I think the worst thing is the feeling of being hot and cold at the same time. Reminds me of when I had the flu when I was a kid.

Usually, when I"m starting to go into my cycle and I get into all the bad emotional stuff... depression, intense anxiety and all that, there's a communication breakdown between me and J. This sets up a domino effect that never does either of us any good. This time, after I got up from my 12 hour snooze, I explained to him that I had been feeling crappy the last few days and that I suspected that my cycle was coming on (he knows what I'm talking about when I say that....) and that if I kept to myself, it was just because of said crappy feelings and nothing to do with him. I think this time, that bridged the gap because he made the effort to keep me talking after a fashion. He actually seemed to be in a more positive frame of mind too, which I think helped a lot. Now, more than ever, I count myself ever so fortunate to have him in my life.

That said, I feel totally crappy right now and I'm tempted to go back to bed but I haven't had a shower in a few days and for some reason, I feel a strong urge to wash my sweater (the one that I finished up a few days ago). The neck is all stretched out and it's begging to be washed. I do love that sweater and I want to make more of that same style and I have the yarn to do it with too so I'm a happy camper on that count.

Oh, and I'm proud of myself... I stifled the urge to go to the store for more yarn on Sunday. It was before game time and I really, really, really wanted to get out of the house but I rationalized why I really wanted more yarn... actually, I wanted to get more bamboo double pointed needles so I could do the next sweater, both sleeves at once but I found some needles here that will work just as well. Yay for me!