Hello My name is BG and I'm new to this site however, I'm by no means new to my social anxiety. I have lived with this for years. Throughout the years my anxiety is not the only thing I have picked up though. I have learned to minimize my anxiety and when it does hit how to control it to some degree. What I can tell you that may help?

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hm....posting my first blog here, well not exactly a blog but I just wanted to start off by saying" hi"~~
I hope I can post my thoughts/feelings and update it as much as I can.
See ya later~~

God Bless~~

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I contacted two people downstate, that still help with the club I used to belong to. Larry filled me in on many of the originals, he would say “So and so is still around, but not here” but one of my favorites, Bob, a man that I liked, he said “He’s gone” I wrote back, what do you mean gone… He’s one of a kind. He was married when I knew him, off limits but I always said if he and his wife broke up, I would move in, and I typically don’t think like this.

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I had to leave my environment two times last week, each time it involved me working with people a meeting or something. It changed my entire week. I felt so much better.

Having human contact no matter how minimal, a simple meeting can make me feel better, that's sad!

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Yeah, it's been a while... again. Partially just because I haven't really had anything to write or even felt like writing.

In my never ending struggle with depression (which seems to far outweigh my struggle with anxiety... for the most part...), I've 'fallen' more than a few times in the past few weeks. I'll be okay for a few weeks and then, the bottom falls out and I'm avoiding everyone, even my cherished best friend.

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I wrote in my last blog about dissatisfaction with my relationship. That’s not really true. While there are times when I wish things were different, most of the time I’m satisfied.

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The Buddha taught that all conditioned mental and physical phenomena are impermanent, but there is something that doesn't seem to change -- the dissatisfaction I have with my relationship with my wife.

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I’ve been extremely melancholy. Some old music triggered memories. I’ve been thinking of my Dad, yes I have one, on rare occasion when I mention him people are surprised, just like if I mention I have a brother “I didn’t know that, you never talk about him, I knew you had a sister.” Well, we all have our reasons.

My dad had a persona, he was much like Johny Cash, not in looks but in attitude, right is right, wrong was wrong, black and white, this is the way it is, don’t like it, too bad.

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Each year, each year, I start going through this, the exact time of year, I always blame it on winter depression. Little things will trigger me. Then, each year, I blog about it.......

It's now March, each Feb I start going down hill for a few, it's the month we found out Joe wasn't going to make it. I have so many mixed feelings, so many.

So, this too shall pass, I just have to remember. When you push feelings down, they'll just up and bite you. I think it's called Denial

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I know it's been a while since I wrote anything.... blog entry, PM, anything. I've more or less been hiding in my shell the last few weeks, riding the emotional roller coaster. Gotta love it... O_o

Life here in KY hasn't been terrible at all. Joe's family are total gems in every sense. His Mom is so much like my Mom in so many ways, it's scary. It's like she's my Mom with a Kentucky accent :b

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