Social Anxiety Blogs

So..this is to clear my thoughts. No ego :0

Why was I born into a world where I am forced to do things that I dislike, and generally suffer so much? Why do I feel like a failure if I don't feel like living up to other people's expectations; if I don't go after the stereotypical "good" ending - I must be strong, I must endure, I must: Be a good person, work hard, be organized, be passionate and happy and find a good career, overcome all depression and anxiety..?

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I know life stories are boring...Currently I am waiting to be enrolled in summer school and I only need 2 more credits to graduate. I have already tried to be independent but my roommates let me down. I've been an "at home person" for about five months. I live off of social security at the moment because I have a really low white blood cell count. Most all my friend drink and smoke weed, I on the other hand can't really tolerate these things because I get bad reactions, If I drink I get a cold, and when I smoke I feel as if my anxiety will utterly land me in a heart attack and my ears ring.

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I wrote in my last blog about dissatisfaction with my relationship. That’s not really true. While there are times when I wish things were different, most of the time I’m satisfied.

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The Buddha taught that all conditioned mental and physical phenomena are impermanent, but there is something that doesn't seem to change -- the dissatisfaction I have with my relationship with my wife.

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I’m having trouble comprehending how the Military can make me keep an insurance that I don’t want, that is interfering with the quality of my health, well being. I can’t comprehend how “Not active” isn’t enough for the State. The more I think about this, the more it makes me angry, I shouldn’t have to fax them anything, if I don’t want the insurance that should be enough. Then when you consider I don't have the insurance......

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((((((((((((((((Becky)))))))))))))))) That's a generous offer. That's just an example of how true a friend you are and the depth of your character runs. You're one of the nicest, best people that I've ever had the fortune to meet *hugs*

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