Longing
to belong
but misunderstood
Wanting to be a part
not really knowing how

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Quiet by default
with lots of things to say
trapped inside
begging to get out
Speak Child!
Let the world hear your voice...
JUmbLeD MEss
Oops...
Shutting Down

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My mom works as an assistant administrator for an old folks home for those old people that can still live independently and are mentally stable. I've had some correspondence with one of them who gave me a fascinatingly accurate read of my personality by observing my handwriting, and recently she has sent me a printed book in a blue duotang that she feels will help me deal with my anxiety disorder.

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I am somewhat of a normal functioning SA sufferer. I can leave the house, talk on the phone, and engage in small talk better than it seems some of my co-workers...I work in radio so I could not have gotten this far if I was as bad as some SA sufferers. However, if you wanted to make a seperate diagonsis for Avoidant Personality Disorder, this describes me to a tee. I feel special in a strange way they have a disorder especially for me.

1. Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

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Ok, so this is my cynical side popping up again.

I can't help but feel strange joining a special interest group or club. Obviously, the reason why you've joined is to meet new people and hopefully make new friends. That's the idealism behind the concept.

But I can't help but stigmatize the whole thing. Here's a bunch of strangers together, like a melting pot full of potentially odd ingredients, with a hope that somehow one or two of the ingredients will form a bond.

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Hey I'm new my name is Carolina and I just watched True Life on MTV and realized that I have social anxiety. It's weird I just thought I was a nervous person. Anyway I'm 19 years old my father passed away when I was 9. I've been working with my Mom since I dropped out of high school at 14. I've only had friends when I was in middle school and I don't know why but I pushed them away after I started high school. So basically I have no friends since then except my sister and my cousin and Mom. I don't go out EVER except if I have to.

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Seeing as this is my first blog entry, I'll introduce myself a bit.
Name- You can call me Kay
Age- 17
Interests- Art, Animals, Kids, Movies, Reading, Baking

I live in Beautiful Canada. I love it, but I would love to be living somewhere in the UK. I love spending time with my family. I feel like I'm my favourite person. I know myself better than anyone and I like the way I treat myself, as weird as that sounds.

On to the blog!

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I am facing a situation right now and honestly it is starting to greatly interfere with my ability to deal with the general anxiety and social phobia I have been dealing with all my life. I returned home as an adult after a failed attempt to be on his own to seek an official diagnosis so he can begin treatment.

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I guess I could be considered a functional social anxiety sufferer. I am not as bad as some people on this forum. I have a few friends, I leave the house and can talk on the phone. I work in radio "on air". How I got to this point it is somewhat amazing considering that I am an SA sufferer. I will go out of my way to avoid any uncomfortable situation. I have a terrible fear of authority figures. I cannot perform a new task in front of others. I'm always worried that I will be judged incompetant, or stupid, or weird. I am always trying to read what others are thinking about me.

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Hello , everyone im fresh meat on here but i have a felling that i will fit in just fine.
I kinda dont know where to start i guess I have finally chosen to be honest aganist my fake ego and admit i am probley a nutty so this is just the genisis of my healing process.

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